I have been in major denial for years, it still affects me. I think the final slap in the face that made me realize that Lukie (our 6 year old) is autistic is when we had a neurologist diagnose him last week. It took me years to finally accept it so we can get him help. At age 2, I received the Regional Center number from his pediatrician..that was the last time I saw her..because I was angry and in denial. Then again in preschool 4 teachers and the school director told me he has issues...once again I shrugged and said "he'll grow out of it." Finally Greg (my husband) and I had an IEP at age 5, which documents constant rocking, fidgeting, delayed speech, lack of eye contact and social skills...that's when I put him on a GFCF diet (gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free diet). He massively improved, in a short period. We first removed gluten, then dairy 5 months later. I thought at that time, maybe he's like Bradley and has food allergies, and he's not autistic. Well, he is autistic, and he's incredibly gifted. He will be a spectacular man one day, brilliant and shining in his own special way. He may not have a lot of friends, he may be odd and strange to others, but I am so blessed...he can walk, talk, and hug me. I love him so much. I finally understand what he and we need...we need extra help, understanding how to talk to him. We would be failures if we didn't keep trying to help him. So our next step is ABA. Im excited to learn how to be a better mom for him.
I cant help but get tears, because most of the time I hold it all in. I spent so much effort and time trying to get Bradley better, and now we have Lukie to do the same for... but I do believe that this is what Im suppose to do in my life. That's why I have this bakery. I was meant to do this for our families and others. Life is good...I have a terrific husband, and two of the most amazing little boys. Tragedy can happen at any moment...and I think about that everyday...and that's why I know I'm blessed. We have so much love.
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Acceptance is one of the hardest steps in any process of grieving that our kids may not be "normal". But you will find the greatest joys in all of Lukes' accomplishments. ABA has been an amazing help for our daughter Katie. She asks us last week to go to "Brooklyn
Bridge, New York City, airplane". That is her way of saying she wants to travel! She doesn't talk much, but when she is motivated, she can tell you what she wants- like one of your amazing cookies or cupcakes! Finally, I will say that I thought I was strong
holding it all in too. But what I found out was that strong was accepting that I have extra challenges in front of us with everything we do with our daughter. And getting the help we need to make her life better was strong! It is hard to ask for help, but
it is the strongest thing you will ever do for Luke. See you next weekend at the bakery! With hugs, Julie
"THAT one needs to come see me," my heart sank and when, 6 months later, he received a diagnosis of moderate autism, it broke all over again. This year our youngest son, not quite 3, received a report saying the same thing and it was SO hard to hear- he has
received what we call "sidekick" therapy since he was born. We knew before he was born that he would be high risk for autism, being a boy and having two bio brothers with autism, but even so it was like a kick in the gut reading it in print. We also deal with
food allergies and eosinophilic esophagitis in our oldest son. We've been doing ABA therapy for the older boys for nearly two years and it has helped a great deal, especially for my younger son. On his good days, stranger wouldn't even notice anything about
him. :) On his bad days, well, that's another story, but everyone has bad days. We do a lot of sensory input, lots of "key phrases" that help him remember how he should be behaving and then lots and lots of sensory input before and after outings- social stories,
too! :) If he needs to wear a hat or arm warmers or his huggy suit (one of those tight shirts and pants meant for athletes, Target usually carries them in kids' sizes) or his hearing protection headphones, so be it. You do what he needs, you figure it out!
I'm sure you will do just fine.